Are your humans humans?

shadzar · Post by **shadzar** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 10:02 pm

I don't care what is it called, but you couldn't with a kroot, because they don't work that way, and even if they did, those quills would kill you before you got started good. And since they literally are what they eat, you could be doing it with bugs, squats, or any number of other things.

YUCK!

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Sat Nov 21, 2009 11:59 pm

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/05/2 ... apes-back/ Link somewhat related.

NSFW

erik · Post by **erik** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 1:28 am

Meikle641 wrote:http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/05/2 ... apes-back/ Link somewhat related.

NSFW!

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 1:58 am

Now all that said, I think that if you want to have more exotic races in your game a good rule of thumb is this:

The more weird in appearance a character is, the more they need to act like human beings.

Srsly. In 4E, Dragonborn and Tieflings are still relatable because they basically act like surly/emo human beings. Unlike Eladrin and Dwarves they don't have some in-your-fact personality or physical-reality override that makes people think 'holy shit, this is an exotic race'. So if you're going to have a race of four-armed slug people, I'm sorry to say that they'll need to be relatively open in personality and still need to read and think the same way humans do. But if you want a race of people who are so weird that Asahara Shoko would tell them to turn it down a notch then you need to make them bumpy-forehead humans.

Meikle641 · Post by **Meikle641** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 2:16 am

Fixed, clikml. Thanks for the catch.

God_of_Awesome · Post by **God_of_Awesome** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 7:51 am

shadzar wrote:I don't care what is it called, but you couldn't with a kroot, because they don't work that way, and even if they did, those quills would kill you before you got started good. And since they literally are what they eat, you could be doing it with bugs, squats, or any number of other things. YUCK!

PG-13

Judging__Eagle · Post by **Judging__Eagle** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:06 am

Heh, Kroot ladies.

Honestly, humans are perverted and horny; there is very little that I'd put past them. I mean, I could see them make it with a Radiator Woman from the Radiator Planet; then quickly go to the Burn Ward to get treated.

Our species' proclivity for perversion is so great that you can write comedic gold about it.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:26 am

And it's understandable, given a twisted sort of logic.

I think part of it comes down to the human sense of aesthetics, and the fact that humans can appreciate non-human beauty.

I mean, have you ever seen a picture of a Fresnian stallion?

Here:

http://www.friesianheritage.com/images/ ... 40pxlw.jpg

Gorgeous critters. Google them up for more.

So once you have something most people can agree is aesthetically pleasing (a big shiny black horse, a big jewel-scaled dragon, etc.), there will be a subset of those people who wouldn't mind boinking it.

And it gets worse in fantasy and science fiction, where there are commonly non-humans who look quite attractively human and are of an even more compatible size and anatomy.

I mean, I was playing Kingdom Hearts 1 and reached Atlantica. So Sora, Donald and Goofy turn into sea-life themed versions of themselves. Sora is a merman-thing, only a dolphin from the waist down.

My 13-year-old sister was watching and said. "Woah, Sora's hot."

I mean, jeez.

Oh, speaking of the comedic gold, check out this guy's gallery:

NSFW for boobies, but it implies and makes a joke of rather than shows.

http://andersson.elfwood.com/

He has a whole series of pictures about a Bard who has, to put it politely, romanced females of quite a lot of fantasy species. And it's more funny than it is erotic.

For examples, CTRL + F for Dragonlayer and "Family Gathering"

Edit: I feel compelled to add a further warning. It's been a long time since I've looked at this artist's stuff. More NSFW than I'd remembered, but still not explicit. You are duly warned and may get some weird mental images.

shadzar · Post by **shadzar** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 9:44 am

God_of_Awesome wrote:
shadzar wrote:I don't care what is it called, but you couldn't with a kroot, because they don't work that way, and even if they did, those quills would kill you before you got started good. And since they literally are what they eat, you could be doing it with bugs, squats, or any number of other things. YUCK!
PG-13

That ain't right, and you should REALLY be ashamed of yourself for that. Just like the person who greenstuffed boobs onto his kroot!

God_of_Awesome · Post by **God_of_Awesome** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 10:13 am

shadzar wrote:
God_of_Awesome wrote:
shadzar wrote:I don't care what is it called, but you couldn't with a kroot, because they don't work that way, and even if they did, those quills would kill you before you got started good. And since they literally are what they eat, you could be doing it with bugs, squats, or any number of other things. YUCK!
PG-13

That ain't right, and you should REALLY be ashamed of yourself for that. Just like the person who greenstuffed boobs onto his kroot!

Hahahaha....

AHhahahahaha!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

HA! HA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....................!!!!!!!!!!!

Koumei · Post by **Koumei** » Sun Nov 22, 2009 10:22 am

Maxus wrote: I think part of it comes down to the human sense of aesthetics, and the fact that humans can appreciate non-human beauty.

Very true. Indeed my previous stance is not actually as accurate as saying "We enjoy seeing them". For instance, there is architecture I think looks amazing, yet have not considered having sex with.

Until I just typed that.

Or indeed, even "humans that I'm not attracted to". How many straight men enjoyed 300 for the rippling muscles, general manliness and "That is what an attractive, healthy man looks like." aspect? Heaps.

But saying it's all about wanting to have sex with things is funnier. Even if we're not as sex-focused as your average animal, who divides the world into "Terrain", "Food", "Predator" and "I can have sex with this".

I mean, I was playing Kingdom Hearts 1 and reached Atlantica. So Sora, Donald and Goofy turn into sea-life themed versions of themselves.

Doesn't Donald become a tentacle monster?

And just to horrify people, I have had an erotic dream about a Mind Flayer. Granted, that doesn't affect how I treat them in-game ("Shit, it wants to eat my brains, kill it now!") And I guarantee the dream is not what you're thinking.

But I like to think that says more about people in general (or perhaps "dreams are weird") than me as an individual.

DMReckless · Post by **DMReckless** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 1:48 pm

Maxus wrote:"Family Gathering"

That must have been one hell of a wild night. All those kids look the same age.

Lago PARANOIA · Post by **Lago PARANOIA** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:18 pm

How many straight men enjoyed 300 for the rippling muscles, general manliness and "That is what an attractive, healthy man looks like." aspect? Heaps.

Though, to be fair, they were probably more receptive to the message of racial paranoia/superiority.

WHOOOOOOOA!

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 8:35 am

...And yet, I find the Kroot to be the most 'human' of the GW races. The rest of them have such bizarre motivations.

Yeah, animal heads aren't too different. But there's a few dozen games out there (like WoW) where most of the races are just different colors. I really don't care at that point. Yeah, it takes a better artist to make humans, and yet most art isn't actually hand made anymore.

Frank's the one that won't let me have a party with a tiny faerie, a centaur, a cat-people, and a bird-people.

-Crissa

God_of_Awesome · Post by **God_of_Awesome** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:34 pm

My campaign has super humans as humans. Most everyone has magic, at the very least up to cantrips, and your guaranteed to find a any place of some sort of business to have a wizard that specializes in magic for that business.